If you take out my not so inconspicuous cross-body Gucci bag, I'm literally female Jerry Seinfeld. Anybody recognize me there? Turtleneck, check. Black denim, check. Camel coat, check. White sneakers, check. I can see it now...
George: "She's really hot, but she has this look, like she reminds me of someone I know, Jerry. SHE REMINDS ME OF A MAN!"
Jerry: "A familiar she-man?"
George: "I'm telling you! I can't do it, Jerry. I'm speechless. I have no speech."
Jerry: "Why are you speechless, again?"
George: "LENA, Jerry, the she-man!"
I could go on. I need to get a hobby besides blogging, because I invent fake episodes of Seinfeld in my head where I'm in it. It's sad I tell ya, sad!
Back to the Jerry Seinfeld look. It's casual, androgynous, yet surprisingly feminine and classy. A little nod to the 90s with the turtleneck and white sneakers, but modern overall with the colors. I love it!!!
And I couldn't resist...that little Gucci bag had my name written all over it. Well not my name exactly, not even my monogram, but you get the gist.
Yesterday I was talking about hiding your tushes. Today, I'm handing over the cover-up on a silver platter. What we have here ladies and ladies, is a simple grey knit in a not so simple cut. This very different cut is what makes it. And, as I love reminding myself every day, it hides post-children bits & bobs.
Can't believe I just said that.
What you will witness here is, in other words, a muumuu. Aunt Marge used to wear one, it was pink I think, but we could see her tits through it cause it was made of old sheets material, but I digress. This sweater tunic is the bomb. The cuff detailing with the keyhole opening, the comfort of the knit, the loose high-low fit. I'm in muumuu heaven, betch. As I'm always faithful to the variations of black & white, my white crop denim and my shiny hiney ballerina flats complete this awesome look.
Will you dare...to wear...the muumuu? Sounds like a horror movie. But it's not, look!
My life is complete. I've achieved the ultimate faux-pas since 1971 (year subject to interpretation). I've gone mad, yes, but at least I won't be cold when I get to Hell, because I'm wearing socks. With. Sandals.
As Stormageddon is raging on in the Atlantic Northeast, all New Yorkers are indoors losing their minds and all Bostonians had to go pahk their cah for the week. Ironically, only in Canada are we flipping the bird and mooning our southern neighbours (we're not even getting a snowflake).
So, to piss of humanity, I decided to wear sandals (Birkenstock style sandals are back baby) with socks (3 pairs to be exact) because yeah, we might not be getting any snow, but it's still minus #icetits degrees outside and I didn't want to catch a cold. To match my grandpa feet, I am splendidly wearing boyfriend jeans and a turtleneck, and had to hold myself back from wearing a chain over it. Thank god someone already married me.
As my fave Hebrew deli owner would say, "You hef to hef a lotta bowls to vear zat." Yeah yeah yeah, but what's fashion if it ain't ballsy, ya know? Overall, I think this look is killer, comfy, and it's all over the runway so you might as well get used to it!